Author: El-Hajj Mohammed X

This sound's a bit a cliché but it's quite difficult to describe yourself without engaging in self-glorified vanity. I was always interested in academics, however, my circumstances in life steered me in the wrong directions. I went to a school where the GCSE pass rate was 13 percent A-C and the students were often from broken homes. My association with my social circle was not the best but not one that I could avoid. After failing school I did eventually pursue my lifelong ambition to successfully obtain an LLB Law degree. After a couple of years, I managed to find books through the help of a friend. Since then I have been addicted to reading and it has definitely progressed me as a human being. I think blogging was a natural progression from reading. I think blogging has been fantastic and extremely therapeutic. Essentially, my initial blog was served to provide me as a reminder of my Hajj experience. However, the blog would benefit those who wish to learn about the Hajj experience or look to partake in Hajj. Thank you for reading. Mohammed X

Part 4: Hajj

Day 13 (19 August 2018)

We all had our showers and applied as much Oud on our Ihrams (Non-stitched Cloth) as possible.

We were packed and made our way downstairs after completing Fajr Salah. We waited for our coaches to arrive.

I always loved the breeze of hot air when I wore my Ihram. It was always a nice feeling early in the morning.

I always felt like I was travelling a truckload where ever we were relocating. Maybe it was the body resisting this move, nevertheless, we were now set and on our way.

I was now barefooted and in my Ihram. My disdain for feet is no secret and now am having to travel/sleep barefooted for the next five days.

Off we set from Aziziyah too Mina. All thoughts were crossing my mind during this time. I ended up thinking myself to sleep. Once I woke, after 10 minutes, my eyes were embraced by a sea of white domes (camps) covering as far as my eyes could go. We dipped in and out of roads and underpasses. Eventually, we travelled over a flyover which led us to our camp (Camp 39).

As we disembarked off our coach. I spent a couple of minutes examining the area. The entrance of camp 39 was on one side and on the other side was a huge wall, a wall that reminded me of the one in Gaza, which closes itself from Israel. By the grace of God, ours was not that bad, compared to what our brothers and sisters in Palestine usually wake up to.

As I entered the entrance of the camp, there were two guards who watched all the pilgrims enter. There was a fountain on the left (which I was shocked by) and red carpets on the floor which mapped out our pathway. The Travel Express staff had those post signs every 5 yards. Virtually impossible to get lost.

As we entered, I had a quick look for Q, to see where he was; luckily, he saw me first and quickly flapped his hands to direct me towards the mattress that he saved for me. The camp was fairly spacious, it was separated into two parts, with mattresses across each other. There was also huge metal air vent which went across the camp, and two A/C’s bridged at the top of both entrances. The women’s camp was across ours. As I was entering, the Mauritian aunty had requested that I check over her husband. She was still very worried about him. It was extremely sweet to see an old couple that were still genuinely in love with each other.

After juggling about with my space, I managed to put my luggage behind my mattress. On either side of me; I had a Bengali brother and a Nigerian brother sleeping next to me. On the opposite side was, Q and this Mauritian brother with his 5-year-old child. A nice but shy young boy who was extremely content with being with his father. Normally kids of that age are extremely needy for their mothers.

As I lay down for an hour. Breakfast was served. I shot up in excitement as I had not eaten anything since last night. Everyone was handed a box for breakfast by Omar (group leader), as we eagerly unwrapped the box. We were provided with 4 slices of bread, two slices of tri-angular cheese, honey, salted olives, a cookie and milk. After the shock of what we had been served. I did the best I could to fill myself up. The food that was served, was a huge shock to the system. Thereafter was nothing was a surprise to me.

After Maghrib, I quickly left our camp and went in search for The One Call guys. I managed to locate them and quickly popped in to say Hello.

*Omar, whilst handing out the food, in his loud boisterous voice, jokingly mocked those who had complained about the breakfast in our previous hotels. I couldn’t stop myself laughing. It was true what he said.

As I lay down, there was absolute silence in our camp, you could almost hear a pin drop. It really hit home, where we were and this was a massive shock for me. Although I was extremely uncomfortable with my surroundings; I truly embraced the indiscriminate nature of our religion. What a placed to be truly humbled, wearing the most basic of clothes, having every form of luxury taken away from us, eating basic food and most importantly being surrounded by people from different colours and cultures. This was definitely soul nourishing.

After a couple of hours. Q woke me up so that I could perform my wudu. We both went to the Wudu area which was absolutely packed and we waited 20 minutes in the searing heat. I tried to cover my head, after a couple of minutes, the haram police were raising their voices about why we were covering ourselves. I think a polite naseeha (advice,) would have been more than sufficient. We also had a quick time to examine the toilets. I managed to find two English toilets. Sorted!! The wudhu water was hot which didn’t help.

The camp became bearable now. After Esha we had dinner. Suddenly, strong winds pounded our camp. It had taken us all off guard. As the winds got stronger, people grew worried. The camps AC was vigorously moving side to side, and some of the hinges holding the dome structure, unhinged. We could hear loads of Arab’s speaking with urgency; outside and there were loads of hajj organisers running around. I surveyed the situation from the outside and was taken back by the winds and the flying sand which covered the air and changed the colour of the sky to a yellowish-grey. This was my first time witnessing a sand-storm. In all honesty, it was bad but not bad enough, considering people were charging their phones outside and having a cup of tea.

Omar came into the camp, warning the brothers that were close to the door, that they should keep their distance from the AC, due to the conditions outside. He then looked at us all, and goes ‘why is everyone scared? This is the best place to die, let’s all die together and go to Jannah. This was all said in his strong Somali/Arab accent. I was in hysterics.

Me and Q also managed our night time tea in all the bedlam.

Thought of the day:

You are truly content with life when you have nothing- Mohammed Ali

Day 14 (20 August 2018)

Q wakes me up for Fajr. He manages to find a new Wudhu place (Ablution Place), this one was a bit closer to the camp and far quieter and cleaner compared to the other place. It still had taken us 35 minutes to brush our teeth and complete our wudhu.

Q was pretty chuffed with himself, he managed to have a shower in the infamous shower cubicles. His theory was, if you are going to the toilet, you might as well have a shower. I think we all found our ways in accepting our environment, this was Q’s way.

Nothing of note happened today.

I started growing a bit of a rapport with F (kid opposite me). I was shocked at how attached he was to his father. I also noted that his strict routine in terms of eating, playing and sleeping. I spoke about my observation Q and he explained to me that he was autistic. However, F’s autism was not that severe. He was a very smart and intelligent child. I played with him as much as I could and I managed to win his trust (a little) by bribing him Oreos. I still failed to win him over.

Shiraz aka Dennis the Menace:

Shiraz was a young teenage boy who was part of our group. Young, extremely intelligent, witty and handsome (mashallah). Oh, and I totally forgot to mention, very mischievous and super hyperactive.

He was messing around the whole day and he essentially lightened the mood in the camp. The Travel-Express hujjaj were a pleasant bunch, however, they were not exactly the liveliest, so having a mischievous teenager really helped me. Although a lot of people in the camp grew frustrated with him.

During the evenings Sheikh would provide a mini-talk after Maghrib and Esha. Although most of the talks were beneficial it became difficult to understand what he was saying due to his low-pitched voice. AE (a celeb imam), who also leads another Travel Express group, would provide talks on his mic. His talks were motivating, beneficial and he had an extremely soothing voice which helped. Quite often I would zone-out of Sheikh’s talks and listen to AE’s lectures. I found out a lot of brothers were also doing the same.

In the evening, I sat with the One-Call boys for an hour or two. The unity and brotherhood in that camp was amazing. It was food for the soul spending time with those brothers. I have always found it easy mixing with Bengali’s and this experience of Hajj re-enforced that. There was a brother from Sheffield (Mohammed Farimudus) who was always good to see. He was a lovely northerner who was always cheerful and also shared an interest in boxing. Our conversations would go on for hours.

After late night tea with Q. I spent an hour of that night writing up the last of my dua’s for anyone that I could remember. I was fully focused on ensuring that I had to make the most of this day by any means necessary. Surprisingly, there were no nerves. I was probably a bit numb. I guess that was expected considering the magnitude of the event.

Day 15 (21 August 2018)

After Fajr we were awake. The big day was here!!!! Everyone was super-focused. There was an energy in the room. It seemed like the days, week, months and years of preparation all lead us to this day and this was our day of ultimate repentance and forgiveness. On this day, Allah (SWT) would be the closest to else in the earthly realms, and he would listen to all our dua’s on this particular day. If we were sincere and righteous in our actions, Allah would accept all our dua’s.

We boarded our coaches. Labaik Allahuma Labaik, Labaik, Lasharika la-ka Labaik, In-al-Humda, Wanyamata, La-ka-wal mulk, La Sharika Lak. This Chorused around the coach.

The plains of Arafat were amongst us as we made that 25-minute journey from Mina to Arafah. Whilst on the coach, I also saw many of the Hujjaj were walking to the plains of Arafah. Yet we had people moaning about the material things within the camp and coaches. I hope people were taking note!!

We reached our destination. As we entered the gates, we were surrounded around camps, with loads of trees and shade. This was not what I Imagined at all. I was expecting what I usually saw in pictures, videos and live footage on Islam Channel. I expected to be on the desert plains of Arafat with millions of pilgrims’ and being close to the erected pillar where prophet Adam (A.s) and Bibi Hawa first met.

Am sure there was some wisdom behind this, nevertheless, I was still taken back. We were told to go inside the canopy as we would be observing the majority of Arafat in the canopy. The Sheikh explained that praying within the vicinity of Arafat is what Allah ordains, there is no farz in praying in the area’s that we are accustomed to seeing on T.V.

We were all told to rest up until Zuhr and then we would have up until Maghrib to make our duas. After the usual breakfast that was provided to us. We managed to get some much-needed rest.

Praise before you request!!!

After Zuhr, I was finding it difficult to stay awake, I was feeling extremely drowsy. So, I spent a lot of time praising Allah (SWT) and thanking him for everything that he has given me up until the point. I recited many of the most relevant duas by glorifying the Almighty. Praise before you request.

*I met brother Barber Ahmed a day before (Local Tooting lad and most importantly famous for his famous extradition trial to the U.S), he gave me some ideas on how to manage my time in Arafat effectively so that helped me quite a bit.

I then found out the brother at the back were awake the whole time because of the A/C. So, I quickly had taken advantage of this and started reciting and making my duas there. I also told a lot of other brothers to take advantage of the A/C.

My duas had started and they lasted two and a half hours. I genuinely felt content reading most of them and was now happy to relax a little whilst also remembering Allah (SWT).

When the sun had gone down and the weather was a bit cooler. We all slowly made our way outside to the camp yard. There were moments of tears, where I let my heart out to Allah (SWT), and I made loads of duas. All the dua’s that one could ask for. Every time I felt I had covered all my duas, I stopped and asked again, and again, and again. This lasted for another half hour. Myself and Q just reflected on the moment. This is the most content and inner peace that I had ever experienced in my life.

It was quite the scene, seeing so many people face towards one direction in this botanical garden. The sky had four gradients (Pink, Orange, Blue and fade of Lilac), the place felt like it had illuminated. I remember scouting the area and seeing loads of brothers visibly breaking down. I remember embracing Brother Amir and Brother Rahul towards the end. What a fantastic moment that was.

After dinner, we quickly packed our bags and rushed to our coaches. We were now on our way to Muzdalifah. The coach was packed with mattresses and bags. Yet we all chorused Labaik throughout the half hour journey. I lost my voice after that and I really needed sleep.

Day 16 & 17 (21-22 August 2018)

Muzdalifah, heated beds and Calais Fences:

As myself and mum arrived, the surrounding lands were totally empty, in my mind I thought this was amazing. I saw Q, Khalida and his mum; they saved us seats. As we were putting our stuff down a Moroccan woman decided to throw her stuff on top of our and insisted that men should not be allowed to sleep here. My logic and my impulse told me to hold my ground. Considering, the noise she was creating and where we were. This was clearly a test, so I refrained, myself and Q found space further down the mountainside, right behind the Sheikh. Late night banter is out of the agenda.

When we first arrived (half hour) it was totally empty and now the place was totally packed. A sea of people dressed in white littered all over the floor. As I lay down, after buying some cold drinks, we laid down and it was the best feeling in the world. Q was uncomfortable because the floor was so hot. I didn’t care I needed sleep and I was happy sleeping anywhere at this stage.

As I was about to fall asleep. The men started raising their voices. The women who initially stole our sleeping area decided to move behind us. The men were incensed and refused to sleep near women. I watched a bit of the commotion until Sheikh interjected. The ruling is, sleep wherever you can subject to your Mahram being with you. The women left. Nevertheless, Karma best dish of the day.

5 hours later I woke up. My throat was throbbing like crazy. Q was still awake. I stayed up as I was in no fit position to sleep. I made Wudhu and was awaiting Fajr. Myself and Q decided that we should leave straight after Fajr. So, we moved all our bags to our women’s side which was at the foot of the entrance. After salah we literally ran to the front of the women’s side, however, a cue had already built up. The entrance I chose to leave from, my mum and the others didn’t use. I managed to find my way out, however, the whole of my group including my mum and Q’s family were stuck inside.

It was now a full 3 and a half hours after Fajr. The whole of our group was still stuck inside the cage. I was stuck with a bunch of maniacs who had no idea of being cordial and patient. Some Canadian-Somalian brothers decided to lock the gates on us and people were acting like animals to get out of the . However, as I was at the front, I brokered deals to get some of the elderly or the ones in poor health out. People realised I was just and fair and Alhamdulillah so they all listened. Nevertheless, once that door opened people stampeded out, rationality went out of the window. One woman had fallen so I quickly decided to pick her up because there was a strong possibility the heard would have trampled over here. Picking her up came at a cost. I lost my neck rest.

The reason for such terrible a queue was two-fold. Terrible organisation by the authorities and there are only being 4 coaches for over 20, 000 people. Plus there was an accident.

Some of the pilgrims were angry, in protest, they jumped over the 7-foot fence. It was a spectacle seeing a man climbing over the fence with the Ihram. I saw sisters doing it with their abayas.

As I was outside, I had taken it upon myself to look after the old women from our group. They were feeling faint so I just entertained them with conversation, motivated them and used the spray bottle to keep them awake.

Magic Spray.

Whoever reads this blog and you have done well to get this far. PLEASE by yourself a big bottle of water spray when you’re completing your hajj. My bottle spray, benefited loads of people in Arafat and in Muzdalifah. It kept everyone hydrated and cool when the heat started rising.

Finally at around 9:30am our group was let out on the understanding that they walked back to Mina. Considering the amount of time that was spent locked up everyone agreed to walk. After speaking to Rahul on the phone, I assured him that Bashir Snr will be making sure the four elderly women would be coming back by transport. In doing so, we were left behind.

After walking 500 metres to catch up with the group. I saw Shiekh Hussain Al-Azhari standing in the middle of the road with Mohamad-Muridi (Travel Express staff) with 100 kgs of equipment. We decided to help him on our 3-mile journey back as we could not leave him stranded with all that equipment to carry.

We had regular breaks for many reasons. Firstly, we had been wearing our Ihrams, the equipment was heavy, we were carrying our hand luggage, and there was stop/start human traffic. Along the way my mum found a Pakistani family that was lost and we found other elderly members of the group that were stranded due to poor health. By the end of our journey there was an entourage of us returning to the camp.

For some weird reason I still had a lot of energy. Nevertheless, I headed straight to the toilets to have a shower and change into my Ihram. In that time I had my shower (5-6 minutes), we were informed that we would be leaving for Jamarat, pelting stones at the shaytaan. No rest for the wicked.

Jamarat (Throwing of the stones at Shaytaan?)

We all made our way to Jamarat. The expected walk was meant to be only 2 miles. The walk was an in incline, by the time we managed to make our way up to the pelting walls, we were all tired. We went through at least four tunnels. Every so often we would be hit by the wind of the giant turbines or the kind officials/pilgrims that sprayed water on us. I was walking around with my own spray doing the same.

Quick fact about Jamarat. Jamarat is an important part of the Hajj. Pilgrims are required to pelt the shaytaan. However, the pelting of Shaytaan is heavily misunderstood. The objective of the pelting is aimed at throwing stones, which conflicts with your naffs. So, anything from backbiting, lies or foul language etc. It is hugely important that once we throw these stones we should make a conscious effort to abstain from committing the same sins.

The locks have gone:

Brother Amir and Brother Rahul brought their own shavers. After seeing the wild job of these illegal barbers, some of the brothers lost more blood than hair. Brother Amir kindly shaved my hair and I was now free from long hair. I had a quick shower and finally, I could change into my normal clothes. Three days of Ihram was uncomfortable and it does wear you out plus it makes the Mina experience much easier.

Everyone had recognised my cut and I got loads of nods of approval. I think people thought I was going to bottle out of cutting my hair. Little did they know, I really did not care about my hair. I simply followed the rules and trimmed my hair for my comfortability purposes.

I checked up on the Mauritian uncle. He was a bit down that he couldn’t jamarat due to his heart condition. I did my best to make him feel better but nothing was working.

Exhaustion, the Rothschild and Racism:

I was super exhausted but so relieved. Now we could finally rest for a little while. I managed to get some sleep for two or three hours. By Maghrib I was a new man. I was revitalised and full of energy.

The camp was in good spirits. After Esha my throat went. After dinner, I sat with the one call boys. Brother Maz managed to provide me with some sugar-coated Ginger, I had a couple and it did relieve me for a while.

As I was about to fall asleep. Q asked me to accompany for a cup of tea and collect some stones. I didn’t want to go but me and Q were good friends. Ever the good Samaritan, he saw the beast incarnate, he invited him to join us. The beast incarnate brought a fourth person with us, Faysal.

Am not going to bore you with the details of the next three hours. He lectured us with racism and conspiracy theories. I use the word ‘lecture’ as it literally was a monologue. He manged to bring in a conversation about women of Jeddah and their figures. Everyone looked at their cups of tea’s and decided to call it a night. My voice was totally gone and so was my level of shock.

On the plus side, I found Krispy Kremes and Hardees right next to my camp.

Day 18 (23 August 2018)

Last full day at the camp.

Shiraz is right next to my bed early in the morning (permanent fixture). He was on my case. The Bengali man next to me was irritated by him. He would always ask me in Bengali what was wrong with Shiraz. I used to always tell him that he was just a bit hyper than the usual kid because he was home schooled, there was nothing else to it. As much as it irritated me at times, I remembered his innocence and that ultimately he was responsible for making the camp as lively as possible. Shiraz was a lovely kid all the less.

Nothing much to report today other than Shiraz showing Q where all the drinks were kept. This was fantastic news for us. Just for the record, the weather averaged between 45 to 50 degrees. At certain times during the day you could not risk wearing your flops, in the fear that you might burn your foot.

Q’s wife asked for a Coke. Q told Shiraz to bring one for her. Typical, Shiraz, bought a whole crate back. We hid them in the water barrel filled with ice.

At Zuhr, Jamarat was confirmed, shortly after Asr. I thought I would be going on my own to Jamarat, as I thought mum would be too tired.

I saw Amin reading the Quran, however, it was on his lap. I politely reminded him that you should not rest the Quran on your thighs. I also explained that I was corrected in respect to this matter recently myself. After Zuhr, he decided to ask the Sheikh the same question. The Sheikh responded the same. When he asked that question, everyone who heard me advising him, were visibly confused why he would ask such a question? Logic would only dictate that a holy book is not suited to be positioned near someone’s low posterior. I have my reservation as to why he asked the Sheikh.

An hour or two before Jamarat. I really gave myself a serious massage. I soaked in as much Vaseline on my foot. Jamarat went well. I was entrusted to look after Shiraz by his mum. My mum came again and I was super proud of her.

The Jamarat experience was amazing. Every so often, Shiraz would squint a gush of water in our faces. His aim was never to re-energise us, he got a kick out of wetting people. Myself, Rahul and Amir did a rendition of You Never Walk Alone for like 10 seconds. The nicest part of being in Jamarat was bumping in to so many brothers from different parts of the world. I remember seeing brothers, from France, Japan, Niger, Kyrgyzstan, USA etc.. All under one melting point for one reason.

We arrived soon just after Maghrib. The mood in the camp was amazing.
The old Mauritian uncle was gleaming with happiness. I asked him why he was so happy. Finally he was able to complete the Jamarat, so I gave him a huge hug. For him this was a moment of happiness and redemption.

F still after four days was stuck with his dad in the camp. The father saw my efforts with his child and felt comfortable leaving him with me. On two occasions, he sat on my mattress and gave me a hug. Considering his reserved nature, I was quite privileged. After four days of hard work it finally payed off.

I chilled with the One Call guys for an hour and half.

At the end of Esha. A couple of the officials came in to our camp and gave us a warming message. Shiraz used this to cause mischief in the other camp. In all fairness me and Q egged him on to water a couple of people from AE’s group. As always Shiraz went too far and the lads from AE’s retaliated back. As humorous as it was, the Sheikh kept looking towards my direction as Shiraz was having his battle from my mattress. I tried to control but to little avail. I was just praying the Sheikh doesnt pull me up on it.

The food became unbearable. So, I decided to take Amir, Rahul and Sameer the Hardees near the camp. The night before, myself and Rahul had a halal wager. If, I was able to find a Hardees close to the camp, he would wheelchair me to Jamarat. As the whole camp watched us, we indulged in the burgers, and the happiness was evident for everyone to see.

Bedtime!!!!

Day 19 (24 August 2018)

Breakfast for the last time. I don’t think I will be missing it. Jamarat was confirmed for around 10:30am

We packed our stuff away. The Bengali brother next to me, who was in his 40’s, was like my father when I was in camp. Always watching over my shoulder, checking if I wanted any of the extras, and having a bit of a go at me because of my clumsiness. He checked if I had remembered everything.

Bless him, he was lovely. I didn’t have the heart to say anything to him. As I knew he had good intentions, he was just a bit old school.

Since I was packed and after doing a bit of reading and praying. I decided to nap.

After an hour of napping, a debate was taking place. Quite possibly the worse debate, which madhab is right. Both individuals (both young and educated), were getting personal and raising their voices about matters in deen. I decided to intervene and moderate. Although it was pointless and un-needed conversation. The conversation got no-where..

The issues today, is that everyone has an opinion, and the other is always trying to refute the others opinion. Trying to find middle ground and being able to work on the basic’s goes out the window. The four imams were great scholars of their times, they did their best to preserve the sunnah, and most importantly they were never refuted in the last 1300 years. Suddenly, we have a new wave of young zealots, who feel that they can criticize these great scholars. May Allah (SWT) may have mercy on them.

The last jamarat was super chilled. Today we all decided to wet Shiraz. He was drenched by the time we reached the camp. These memories would stay with me forever.

The Jamarat served a huge purpose. Am not going to disclose all the details of my personal flaws but I did make a lot of dua to ensure that I do not fall foul of these sins going forward, Throwing the stones was not the only purpose, making dua to change was the goal of any hujjaj whilst performing this ritual at the Jamarat.

We quickly picked our bags and left for the coach. Everyone eagerly awaited the return to the compartment.

I closed my eyes and sunk in to the mattress. Not like I thought about a bed in Mina; I really appreciated the mattress and the ability to spread my hands and legs, without having to worry about the person on the right and left of me. I ended up napping for 10 minutes. I was trying to fathom whether I slept out of comfort or exhaustion.

After I awoke, I applied my facial and hit the showers. With the cool air rippling through my skin and after my long-warm shower; I felt like a new man. After reaching our compartment ,the fought of staying for the 13th night in Mina went out of the window.

*Staying on the 13th night is hugely rewarding. They say by the 13th night, Mina becomes a ghost town. Literally everyone leave on the 12th night. May Allah (SWT) reward those who stayed on the 13th night.

Part 3 (Aziziyah compartments)

Day 9 (15 August 2018)

Off we set to Aziziyah. We prayed and showered quickly whilst also completing our usual last-minute skirmishes in the room, in the hope that we have not forgotten anything. Thankfully, the breakfast banquet was open and was still made available to us. The window for eating our breakfast was half hour, we had to be at the basement of the hotel at 07:30 am sharp, for us catch our coach.

09:45 am in the morning and we are still at the basement. I think me and mum started getting used to this. To be fair, I was always patient during matters like this. Mum was good for the most part, however, she did grow a bit impatient, every so often. She was not to blame. I texted one of the other guys in another group who were also on the same package as us, and they had informed me that they reached the reception at 9:30am, so that did slightly bother me. But not enough to trigger any annoyance.

Bus was finally here, HOWEVER, the communications leader, informed us that our coach would not be arriving at the anticipated place of pick up, due to traffic.  We were now required to go on a detour for us to board our coach. I was helping Q, so I had taken the unconventional route of using the lifts. Surprisingly we were left behind by the Travel Express Team. We were told to wait. Mum quietly had a go at me for helping Q. The guy had 25 bottles, a folded-up wheel-chair and three hand luggage’s, how could I not help!!!

I couldn’t really fault mum for her slight annoyance. So, I had taken on board what she said.

One Call to the rescue…

All in all, my observation of Travel Express so far, is that the Bashir family and the group leaders were super friendly. Travel Express stuck to their word in most matters and somethings were just not in their control, so they should be not held to ransom in those particulars However, the team had communication issues and quite often we all fell victim to this. This particular situation that I will discus (briefly) demonstrates my observation very clearly.

As we were waiting for Travel Express to collect us, I bumped in to Yasin Bhai (One Call leader), he enquired what we were doing.  When I explained the situation, he confidently asked me to follow him and he assured me that he would get me on the coach, as he was staying in the same compartment as us (which was re-assuring).

Yasin Bhai was right. We were now on the coach to Azziziyah. Yasin Bhai, won a place in my heart, at that particular moment. On top of helping me, he had an embracing smile and a warming character. May Allah reward him abundantly.

We arrived at the compartment and were welcomed with roses, a red carpet and a grand entrance at the reception (for the first time in Saudi I felt like a Hajji). We had drinks as we entered, local coffee, chocolates, cakes and other celebratory finger foods. Whilst basking in the aura of celebration for a good 20 minutes. I noticed a very angry looking Yasin Bhai storming up the compartment to confront Bashir Snr. A few heated words were exchanged. The crux of the argument was that, Yasin Bhai was annoyed that his group were left in the coach, whilst we were enjoying all the luxuries of VIP guests. I totally understood where Yasin Bhai was coming from. His pilgrims should not settle for second best and they should have had the luxury to settle in to the compartment just as we did.

For the first time me and mum would be separated from our usual arrangements. I was over the moon that I was getting my own space. She didn’t massively irritate me up until this point, however, I needed to have my own breathing time. Now the only issue that I faced, is being with roomed with a boring and reserved bunch. A few faces came to mind.

Luckily, I was blessed with three other guys who didn’t fit the ‘miserable git’ criteria that I was anticipating. We went up to our rooms and were blessed to find a nice and cosey room with three pin plugs ports. The shower was decent as well (nothing like Swiss Hotel), but thumbs up all around.

Sunnah Police and my hair….

After connecting with Amin (room-mate), we covered a whole host of topics; football, his life experience and his path to religion. Amin, asked me about my hair and why I didn’t shave it, and then went on to mentioned how I disrespected the prophet (PBUH). I gave him a subtle but sharp response that I was aware with what I was doing and that people need not spend too much time worrying about my hair rather they should focus their own time on ibadah

What really triggered his response, was that Amin asked me whether I had chance to kiss the Hajj-e-Aswad (Stone from heaven). Very innocently I responded that I avoided kissing the stone as you would be required to perform a high degree of sin to kiss the stone.  He had told me that he had kissed it and helped others. He was a bit embarrassed telling me considering the information that I had disclosed. But who was I to judge but his alternate response would suggest otherwise!!

At around 4pm Yasin Bhai did a quick tour guide for his group of the local area. I found this extremely beneficial. Once again, One call was winning more brownie points and Travel Express reputation was slowly dropping in my view. Yassin Bhai invited me to his Hajj seminars that he was holding leading up to Hajj.

An Ummah divided?

Three groups in one compartment with one Musallah, yet all three groups did not pray behind one Imam. Am hoping that this is an one-off incident. Considering we are all from the doctrine of the Sunnah, I was shocked how divided the three groups were over basic prayers.

Sheikh’s lecture will be taking place tomorrow at 4 after Asr.

Dinner Time:

The Buffet lunch was not considering the luxuries that were afforded to us in the grandeurs of the Swissotel. We were with Q and his family. Today was pretty chilled out. Mum was ill the whole day, so she was under strict instructions to relax until the next two days, so that she can recover for Jummah.

Very quickly, I found myself a safe-haven, in the compartment’s reception. This place was my get-a-way for a number of reasons. One, I was not stuck in the confinements of my room  and most importantly, the Wi-Fi reception only worked down stair in the reception area.

Me and Q chilled late in to the evening. I stayed a bit longer to ensure that my blogging was coming along in accordance to my daily schedule and I was still scribbling away with my dua book too.

Thought of the day:

Worry about your own Ibadah- Mohammed Ali

 

Day 10 (16 August 2018)

Fajr was prayed in the confines of my room after suffering from the sheer exhaustion from Makkah to Aziziyah. I think the exhaustion was a concoction of mum being ill and all the moving around since we arrived in the country.

Breakfast in the morning as usual. However,  Q’s wife is nowhere to be seen. I kind of realized that there was an issue. Worry and exhaustion was written all over his face. His mother always looked lost all the time, bless her.

Mum came down and she looked like she went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. I attempted to get her to eat much as possible. I realized that a visit to the pharmacy was high on my to-do list.

Very quiet day, other than a quick venture out to the pharmacy after Zuhr, to get mother on the mend. In all honestly I was slightly worried. I would rather her do my head in than be bugged down with this flue and plus I didn’t want her struggling for Hajj.

An expert of the Urdu language? or what pressure can make you speak

Whilst everyone else was feasting with KFC, Burger and McDonald’s.  I was eating the local cuisines.  Unfortunately, I was not spoiled for choice, so the afghan food around the corner would do just fine. Also mums illness confined me, to not wanting to go, plus my Hajj experience was to abstain from worldly stuff. So, I guess this was good prep.

I went to the Afghan shop which had a surprisingly orderly cue. A lot of the customers were from the Mother/father land. Where our compartment was based, there were a lot of pilgrimers from India/Pakistan. Both governments had worked together to buy compartments in the whole area to ensure their pilgrims had a set location in Azizyah. This is about the only time I have ever heard of Indo-Pak Unity.

As my turn came to order, I realized that English was totally foreign to this guy. So, I was left with no option, except for speaking Urdu. To be fair, it was extremely coherent and understandable to the Afghan brother, so I guess my spoken Urdu is not bad at all. To be fair, all those years of Star Plus and Indian movies, one should have mastered the language. But in all honesty linguistics have never been my plus point.

I also dropped my clothes to the launderettes in that time. Price was 8 pounds which was not too bad.  However, as a western foreigner, I always knew the prices were bumped up a bit. So, negotiating with my Bengali brother came to no avail.

I had food with mother in her room. All the women she was sharing her room with were out. Mum had looked so much better after taking her anti-biotic’s. We had food and somehow, I was content and now I could focus on going to the mall this evening. Even though there was not a plan to do so.

Sheikh’s lecture:

We all made our way down to the prayer area in the compartment. Sheikh gave an extreme and thorough account of what to expect from the hajj experience and how to make this process as spiritually engaging as possible. Am someone that learns through demonstrations, Sheikh’s oral delivery was first class, considering how quiet he was.

All in all. The lecture was amazing. As each day past in Saudi, the more increasingly I looked forward to Hajj.

The Beast in Carnate?

Q was having a terrible day with his wife. She refused to meet him and stayed in the room the whole day. I proposed that we should have our late night-tea once everyone was asleep just to get his mind of things.

Tea time at 12am. As we made our way to the café (which oversaw the reception on the ground floor), we realized that brother Wahid was sitting there, he looked very depressed, so I stupidly brought it to Q’s attention. Q decided to invite him.  Wahid did not refuse the invitation.

Am going to cut this story short. This guy turned out to be a pretty horrid individual. He was unhappy with the compartment and everything within its surroundings. Both, myself and Q, regretted the moment we had even prompted him about his issues. He was willing to throw the kitchen sink if he had the chance. The language which was used and the threats which were proposed, were very explicit and one’s that I wish not to disclose, for this blog. Considering, where we were, and the purpose of our visit, I really could not sympathies with him.  May Allah have mercy on hi

Goodnight

Thought of the day:

 ‘Nothing teaches us about the preciousness of the Creator as much as when we learn the emptiness of everything else’, Charles Spurgeon.

 

Day 11 (17 August 2018)

After breakfast, I gave it a couple of hours before applying my facial. Brother Hussain-al Azhari, was looking in shock/ amusement whilst I was applying the dark red, strawberry flavoured mixture across my face.  He jolted a few steps back when I offered him the pot. One would have assumed that I was offering him drugs. I laughed at his reaction and so did he.

*Hussain Al-Azhari, was a very knowledgeable man. After all he was a student from the famous Al-Azhar institute in Egypt. I would often spend the evenings picking his brain in terms of Islam and the current political situation in Egypt. It was most beneficial being around Sheikh Hussain.

Great news…endemic issues with the showers in our compartment. After hearing the guys mentioning the issue, I quickly decided that I would see if Q’s showers were working, so that I could make full use of washing off the face mask and ultimately being ready for Jummah. Luckily, Q had knocked on my door to inform me that I should use his shower. The shpwer stopped working after I used it. SODS LAW!!!

Taken Part 3, Saudi Arabia?

After completing my shower.  I made my way to the reception, in the hope that I would be able meet some brother’s so that I could go to the local mosque for Jummah. However, the brothers at reception, notified me that the local mosque would be packed and that are only option would be, to pray outside. With the current level of heat, jummah was not an option, plus I would probably not be fit enough for hajj, in terms of sun-burn.

I met brother Q. He told me that he was going to pray Jummah with his wife. I left him to it, I don’t think his wife would have believed me even if I did tell her.

Luckily, I met a couple of the One Call boys. They made plans to pray Jummah at the Al-Rajhi mosque (second biggest Mosque in Makkah), I kindly asked if I could join them. The brothers were kind enough to take me along with them. The One Call boys were extremely kind and a heart-warming bunch. They were all Bengali and this just re-enforced everything that I have always known about the Bengali community at large.

Ranjhi Mosque was lovely. The sermon was in Arabic so it was difficult to grasp. However, I knew the Sheikhs dua was revolved around the Hajj and it was moving, this really touched me, and it really made me feel extremely lucky that I was one of the chosen ones to undertake such a beautiful journey amongst a religion of 1.8 billion followers.

As we left the mosque. Shumon and Abdul Hannan decided that we should grab a bite to eat at Makkah Mall. We made our way to Makkah Mall and ate till our hearts were content. I got to know Shumon and Abdul Hannan a bit better during the next couple of hours which was good.

*Abdul Hannan, was my sister-in-law’s, younger brothers best mate and Shumon was someone I met in Hajj. Very nice brother who had the unfortunate illness of constantly spewing verbal diarrhea. But in all honesty, from what I gathered, he was a lovely guy.  A bit of a diva like-myself in terms of making sure we were looking prim and proper but you cant shoot someone down for wanting to look the part.

Shumon met my mother one breakfast.  I Introduced him to my Mother and the first thing he said was, I don’t like Paki’s. Luckily my mother was not well and her hearing impacted because of it. Nevertheless, I knew he was not being malicious and I saw the humor in his reckless humor.

At 2:30pm we decided to leave the Mall. As per the usual routine, we looked for a cab and it was bizarrely unusual not to find someone at this time. *In the middle-east, people tend to avoid shopping during the day due to the heat, a so the locals tend to prefer  come out in the evening. Eventually, we found a cab driver (not licensed) but everyone seemed content to jump in, after all, he was only charging 15 Riyals for the journey. Which was a total bargain on our side.

The driver was an Arab and that too, a super friendly one. Something was not sitting right with this guy. He was a chatter box, but a chatter box in all the right ways. We ended up talking about religion and politics and this brother had a very unorthodox view compared to most Arabs that lived here. He was against MBS (Mohammed Bin Salman-Crown Prince) and he was not too fond of Ibn Tayimmah’s doctrine of Islam which is being practiced in his country. Strangest thing he was not as Shia. He was clearly discontent and extremely unhappy with current situation in the country.

One thing lead to another, the driver, literally decided to give us a tour of the whole of Makkah. He covered the mountain that Ibrahim once used to sacrifice his son, Mina, Muzdalifah, Sheikh Sudais’s and Shuraim’s house, mount Hira and Thur, where Khadija (r.a) was buried and where the Ethiopians were defeated when they attempted to conquer Makkah. With things like this you can only take with a pinch of salt. What is real and what is not? Only god knows, nevertheless, it was interesting.

With that being said. I was slightly worried by this mans over hospitality and that I was going to run late for Sheikh’s Hajj seminar. The ever joking Shumon echoed the same feelings, a couple of times he grew concerned about our conversations with the taxi driver and gave me an anxious tap on my leg. To some degree I shared his concern, I wanted to complete my hajj and see my family again. On the other hand, I was laughing as worry was struck all over his face.

We all stood resolute and firm in that we wanted to go back to the compartment. He drove us back without charging us a Riyal. As we were leaving he offered to take us to a Spa. I was not sure what to make of my one and half hour car journey? Fear, humour, love, respect or awkwardness. Maybe all five feelings were right?

I return back to the compartment and am greeted with groups of people frantically telling me that my mum was looking for me and apparently she was none too impressed. Q was laughing. I think he got a kick out of my mum’s reaction and my irritation.

I looked for mum and reversed the whole situation. I demanded that people should feel sorry for me, as I went through hell and back, after my strange cab journey. My mum and others could not stop laughing. So, I successfully won.

Sheikh’s lecture went as planned. Nothing went wrong and I was more motivated about Hajj.

Hair Episode, Missing Dua book and Clothes Pandemonium:

After the lecture. I couldn’t find my book. In search of my dua book, I became a frantic. Two months of writing duas and preparing myself for the day Arafat, all for it to go missing.  I felt extremely numb and lost. I spoke to my mother about my misfortune. She was no use and clearly did not find the right words to cheer me up. The feeling of being numb and sad quickly escalated to anger.

To let of some steam. Me and Q went to the laundry service to collect my clothes. Q, had never seen me angry. Five minutes later, we are at the laundrette, and they have given me only half my clothes. Considering how resistant he was to reduce his inflated price, I expected a bit more in terms of service. So, I literally hounded him in my father tongue. Luckily, I located my clothes in other people’s laundry. I felt better now since I managed to get my clothes back.

Dinner in the camps was going to be served in 10 minutes so we rushed our way to the lifts so that I could put my clothes away.  As I was making my way to the lift, a brother stopped me in the reception area and sent me his greetings, which I replied with a huge smile. He was insistent in stopping me so I gathered it was of importance. Without introducing himself, he went straight for the jugular ‘Brother you hair, why is it like that?’

I turned around and gave him my nonchalant look. His lips creased and an awkward smile appeared on his face. I asked him, what Islamic institute did he study in? What degree of scholarly work is he involved in? The last question I asked was, whether he was interested in learning my name? Obviously, there was no response. A couple of people started sniggering from my response. I felt sorry for him but today was not the right day for a lecture.

I explained to him, that I was frustrated with people being more concerned about my hair then their own hajj?

I went to my room and found the book waiting on my bed for me.

The dynamics of the day changed. I was now happy Alhamdulillah. Tomorrow is another day!!!!

 

Day 12 (18 August 2018)

Breakfast with the usual suspects.

The mixture of happiness, excitement and tenseness. I could not really fathom the feeling. But in every which way you look at it, I considered it a good thing.

I was super calm. Myself and mum decided that we should go Makkah Mall and Souk Salam for the last bits for our Hajj trip.

We went Souk Salam to have a quick look around the markets. Both me and mum were shocked at the huge price comparison between Makkah and Souk Salam. Another a couple of visits would be required after Hajj.

We then went to Makkah Mall. We picked up small bits and pieces and went to the food hall. Mum saw the old Mauritian couple so we sat with them. I was joking about with mum on the table and uncle politely got up and left. When he was a safe distance from the table she burst in to tears. Her husband was upset when he saw the relationship between me and my Mother. Two of his three children have left Islam and he was clearly cut up as it opened wounds.

It made me wonder. How much of a great relationship me and Mother have? Granted we are always bickering like an old married couple but we have such a great relationship (Allhumdulilah). Am not sure who should take credit? My Mother nurturing us or my ability to maintain the relationship as an adult? Allah knows best. But am grateful for this blessed relationship. I think, one day when she goes, a huge part of me will go too.

The rest of the day was spent packing our necessities. I was slightly nervous but the big day was fast approaching in six hours or so.

Hajj Part 2: Ummrah and Makkah

Day 5 (11 August 2018)

Labyk-allah-huma-labayk (am here my lord am here)

We are preparing for our Ummrah so I changed in to my Ehram (Two un-stitched garments).

The first trip of our eternal journey starts today. We leave for Makkah at 7:30 am in the morning and we should arrive at 4:30pm. Throughout this trip, me and my mother have been extremely punctual when instructed by our group leaders.

We managed to have breakfast and arrived at the foyer at 7:10am (irritatingly). Only to be told by the travel coordinator (Mohammed Bashir jnr) that we would be travelling by cab. *We were non- the wiser, that there was a problem. So, at this stage, I was kind of glad that I would be travelling by car, as we would be facilitated with more leg space and would also have the privilege to arrive in Makkah before the rest of our group.

Unfortunately, this privilege of travelling by car would be short lived. We learnt that The Ministry of Hajj had rejected our visas to Makkah, and therefore we would have to visit the Ministry of Hajj office (opposite Dajjal palace) to have our visas approved. Nine others shared the same fate, however, a couple of the Hujjaj reacted to the news in a negative way. Long story short we eventually had our visas approved at 10:30am and set off for Makkah.

Patience are a virtue, otherwise the Shaytaan will destroy you?

The virtues of this holy pilgrimage are heavily based on patience. Having patience is the foundation of conquering all spiritual conquest. The sahabas and the prophets’ struggles were heavily based on subscribing themselves to a high degree of patience.

We eventually arrived at 6pm. However, the 9-hour journey was turmoiled with struggle and obstacles. Firstly, we had three stops and each stop lasted approximately 25 minutes. The Meccan securities were being total ass-holes and they were disrespecting the pilgrims with non-sensicle questions about our visas. Secondly, the two pilgrims who were in the car, did not really master the art of listening and I felt like my English was poor as they never understood anything I said and they would always talk over me. They also had the gall to blame us for not having our visas even though we were all in the same boat. Thirdly, my Mother decided to patronize my ability to stay organized and finally I almost got in to fight outside the haram as we were going to perform our Umrah. This was the cherry on top of the icing. I wanted to really blow up there and then.

Just for the record, I embraced all the obstacles and overcame all the challenges, to the best of my ability. I did get annoyed towards the end, but the essential thing is that I never lost temper and never acted in a manner which would void my umrah. May Allah (SWT) accept all my struggles and also accept my umrah.

We finally arrived at our hotel. I quickly left the cab and zoomed for the hotel room. This was due to a number of reasons which I have stated above. Allhumudulilah, what a site I was gifted with. 17 floors up and we had an uninterrupted window view of the Haram. Myself and mum must have done something very virtuous in life, for us to be blessed with such a view. I don’t think in our wildest dreams did we envisage that we would have such a breath-taking view. Am not the most comfortable with heights, however, those fears were in the back of my mind.

Our Hajj Umrah (The first real test)

After tearing ourselves away from our room view. Myself and mum made our way to the haram. We were swallowed by the swarm of pilgrims that had arrived at the haram. Magribh, was always the busiest time for prayer. There must have been at least 1 million pilgrims in the Haram at one go.

Going back to the Umrah. Like a bunch of chicken locked up in a cage, we managed to labour through or way in to the entrance. Getting in to the Haram was never easy. An altercation had taken place between me and this man. Typical, it had to be a Pakistani; him and his wife were pushing through a crowd in which there was no space to maneuver. I saw him first, trying to push through on my right side, when he had no luck, he tried to push through me until I reminded him that he should show some sabr. After failing to push through me. He then went to the left and decided to push through my mum. Naturally being protective and fearful of losing my mum before the start of our Umrah, I put my arm in front of the women. Her husband reaction was to push me with all his might; at that particular moment I saw the red mist and stepped towards him but luckily I moved as quick as I stepped forwards. The fear of my Umrah not being accepted weighed heavily upon me and that’s why I voided any further altercation.

Mum was proud that I refrained from any altercations. On my way down to the haram area, to my surprise, I bumped in to Imran Scars (A Tooting lad). I shouted out to him, we quickly embraced and we were quickly separated by the Haram security. A certain level of excitement and happiness had been infused since meeting Scars. There is also something when you meet one of your own in foreign lands.

We made our way through our tawaf (Seven rounds around the Kabah). That was physically demanding and soul torturing. Getting through the tawaf and looking after mum was my main objective.

Allhumdulilah, we finished our tawaf and it was time for Esha. Soon as the Kiyaam was made, like a tidal wave, both of us were pushed in to Marwa and Safwah section of the Haram. Me and mum quickly made a point of access for after Esha. This was our only chance of meeting. The sheer volume of people and the way things move in Salah is quite incredible. Imagine being in Westfield for new-years sales, times it by 50, that’s the nearest I can get to describe the scene.

We were advised by some very kind brothers from Sheffield that we should use the second floor for Sai but mum was insistent to complete the Sai in its origins. Although this irritated me, I did understand. After the first turn, I managed to lose mum at the green lights (Brisk walking for men only), a group of Indonesians swarmed the green light area and I lost sight of mum. I frantically looked for her to no avail. I eventually found her on her third round. I was ecstatic to find her and we then completed our Umrah.

*Looking for someone in the Haram without a mobile phone, is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Impossible!!!!

I had taken her back to the hotel and cut my hair (Not shaved my hair). After showering and changing my clothes. We went to get some food from the old place that we used to eat from. We made our way back to the hotel for some much-needed sleep.

Day 5 finally over.

Thought of the day

Whatever you pray for the Most, Allah (SWT) will bring in front of you as your test. In my case, emotional intelligence and patience.

Day 6 (12 August 2018)

Both myself and mum woke up at 6:30am, we both missed Fajr, due to the physical and emotional strains of the previous day. We happily prayed our salah in front of our window view of the Haram. By Allah (SWT), some of the sweetest moments in my life have already been taken, overlooking the Holy Haram.

After praying salah, I went to sleep for an hour or two, and then woke up for 8:30am. After I woke up, I still did not feel as spiritually engaged, as one should feel when preparing for such an important journey. Something was missing and I really needed to trigger the fire of spirituality in to me.

The magic Mufti!!

After pondering for a couple of hours. I decided that a Mufti Menk YouTube video would do the trick. I watched a video which basically covered the reasons for Hajj and the spirituality of the Hajj journey. The video was an hour and half and it was extremely beneficial for me as it detailed how and what I should do to fine-tune myself for the journey of a lifetime. For the first time in the trip, I felt like the journey had a purpose, and that purpose would drive me to work with a spiritual momentum.

We had breakfast at the hotel. The hotel buffet was super amazing and I was taken back by the wide variety of food which was at our peril. The presentation was world-class, with foods from all across the continent, a vast array of colours, with carefully decorated pieces of fruits and vegetables, scored carefully in to an image of a flower or an animal. Obviously, I held myself back from gawping with my mouth wide open, rather I had adopted the nonchalant approach, which enabled me to act as normal as possible.

We both ate conservatively but nonetheless we did eat comfortably allhumdulilah. We were held in good company by uncle from Nottingham and Q’s family. Plan of action was to spend most of our time in the Haram.

*Uncle was an elderly gentleman of South African- Indian descent. A very warming man standing 6ft 4, with a huge heart, and a man who only spoke kind words. He was accompanied by his wife.

Q, Qadeer

Over the last few days I have spent lot of time with Q. We have the same kind of humor and we were both extremely laid back. Q is a good 12 year older than me but that did not stop the growth of our friendship

I have felt very sorry for him (not like I was taking pity). He has disclosed his life to me and it was difficult holding back tears . Q’s father suffered from mental health and was extremely abusive towards his mother, two of his sisters suffered from both physical and mental health issues. He is currently living in Cardiff with his two children and wife, whilst his mum lives with the other two in London.

What I have observed so far from this trip. Q is stuck between two women and is finding difficult to find middle ground between the two. On the dinner table his wife has thrown several comments about her mother-in-law. It’s not too difficult to realise that she clearly does not get along with her It’s not my place to judgement so I will comment no further but It was uncomfortable.

The reality of marriage has dawned on me. Both Q and his wife have given me their opinions on marriage and nothing seems to be tickling my fancy. Nevertheless, their views are clearly based on their own marriage issues. They both make some valid points in their own perspectives.

Myself, mum and Q’s family spent time strolling the shopping center within the hotel. Loads of the best branded shops with the top fast-food chains. Myself and mum had the grilled chicken and rice, something we had previously enjoyed on our previous trip to Makkah. The local restaurants in the malls are far much cheaper and provide better value for money. It would be wise if you are looking to travel to Makkah.

Thought of the day

The Hajj journey is done purely for the sake of Allah (SWT), the Hajj which is accepted by Allah (SWT), is the one which is supplicated in his name first. Try to spend enough time doing Ibadah rather than engaging in the market environments, which is seemingly unavoidable in Makkah.

Day 7 (13 August 2018)

Mum wakes up at 3:00am to get up for Fajr. She was adamant that we pray in the Haram and more important get a decent praying spot. Mum was panicking (for no reason) and threatened to leave me. So, I quickly wore whatever I found and ran out to the mosque. The heat was still so intense at 3am in the morning. I felt like I was coming down with a fever so I quickly found a spot and calmed myself down. We spent a good hour an half before Fajr salah making whatever supplication we could. The fever managed to ease.

Breakfast in the morning. The usual indulgence without over indulging (If you pardon the pun). I told mum that we should get the shopping out of the way so that we can focus our time as much on Ibadah as possible. Mum was of the same view.

We set off after Zuhr salah. Mum made her way through every jewellery shop in the hotel complexes. The heels of my feet were becoming heavy and I felt like I was losing a centre meter of my height with each step I was taking. Finally, I found an Islamic book-shop, so, I told mum that I would be sitting in there till she needed me. I finally found a book on Imam Ghazali, a very thought provoking book that I would invest in before I leave Makkah.

The majority of her shopping was done so we decided to grab some food. We went to the old food mall that we usually visited and shared a half chicken with rice. We made our way back, mum was really happy, she was ecstatic that I supported her throughout her shopping experience.

I was happy that she was happy. But it’s funny, you go shopping with a woman without complaining, all of a sudden you become the best son in the world.

I think Q was missing my company or he was looking for a break, maybe a bit both. So, he dropped me a call and requested that we pay a visit to the haram together to pray Magribh and Esha. We met with his family and we left for the haram. As usual, there was a lot of tension between his mother and wife.

A chord was struck in my heart

Somehow, I lost Q and everyone else. I met one of the One Call boys, brother Samaad. In between prayers and reading Quran. Brother Samaad, explained how he got in to the deen. His experience was after his father passed away, he became very strict with his prayers. One story that stuck with me, was how he attempts to be the best muslim possible in order for him to take his parents to Jannah. I pondered all night on this matter and wished to do the same for both my parents. You never know what Allah (SWT) has planned for you or your parents, so it’s crucial that we uphold ourselves in the best possible way in front our maker

*Brother Samaad was an endearing brother. Something drew me towards him and I was blessed to have this conversation with him. May Allah (SWT) reward the brother, make him successful in the hereafter.

A Pakistani brother was watching me during my time with Samaad. Curiosity got the better of him (as is the case). He decided to ask me where am from, so I politely answered that am from the UK, I knew where this conversation was going, so a smile crept up on my face. The brother poked on the question further about my ethnicity, till he was satisfied with my response, am of Bangldeshi/Pakistani origins. The brother was amazed and enquired further which town/village she was from. Upon my response, things quickly escalated, he wanted to meet my mother, and he wouldn’t stop bothering me about it. Considering the fruitful conversation that I was engaged in, it was evident to Samaad that I was visibly irritated by the brother’s harassment. He politely intervened and the brother got the message. The question is, why on earth why would I introduce my mother to a total of stranger?

Day 8 (14 August 2018)

Our last full day at the Swissotel. Myself and mum were discussing how sad it was going to be knowing that we were going to be losing one of the most breath-taking views in the world. After mulling over our sadness, we decided to get ready for Fajr. Fajr, completed as usual with another wave of people joining the millions that were already here.

Breakfast- me and mum have decided our plan of action. Buy quick so we have as much time as possible for Ibadah. Between Zuhr and Asr we shopped. I bought a couple of prayer mats and a couple of gifts from the mall.

I realized street shops we charging extortionate prices for basic items so I decided that it was better to get extorted by the malls within the hotel. We bought loads of prayer mats and gifts. Only the Ouds left now.

Maneuvering around the Haram had become increasingly difficult by each given day since we arrived. We made our way back to the hotel after a spot a of lunch at Mcdonald’s. Considering the fascination of the Big Mac in the U.K, it only made sense to order one. We struggled to find any seats so we were content with the floor. Good thing about mum, she’s not your typical women in that sense, she is happy to sit anywhere.

Finally, we made our way to the hotel and at the reception, where there was a swarm of people gathered around a table. From far, two Pakistani flags were being waved around. As I approached the crowd, people were gathered around two massive cakes canvassed with the Pakistan flags printed on the white smooth Icing layer. The cake was huge a huge square, am sure it could have fed 300 to 400 people.

I was shocked that a country that has a total disregard for its Pakistani migrant workers, are somehow embracing Pakistani independence. Extremely hypocritical in my personal observation.

Magrib and Esha was prayed with the usual suspects. We managed to get a tawaf in between both salah’s. Myself and Q decided that we should go for a night stroll and grab a cup of tea once we packed our luggage. We were knackered but a much-needed tea was required.

How are plans went to flames?

I think women have this intuition that men are up to something. Khalida (Q’s wife) decided that Q’s should fill up at 25 bottles of Zam Zam. Don’t get me wrong. I support the idea that you should drink as much Zam-Zam as possible. But am not sure how much man hours would be spent filling up the bottles, and the thought of carrying them back, lets not start on that. I feel like Q’s wife on a personal retribution mission . To be fair he never complained but torture was written all over his face.

*My respect for Q had scaled to new heights. I respect people who have the ability to recognize their fault’s and act on rectifying them. Am not going bog to you down with his problems. Without the marriage aspect of things there are many similarities between myself and Q. I think that’s why we connected so well.

*At 11:10pm- Q had broken the news to me of his new diverted trip to collect Zam Zam. A What’s App Message was sent on the group that our luggage could be messed up in transit, as there were up to four or five other groups that would be departing at the same time. We changed our plans very quickly and made a dash to find our luggage. My luggage had still not been collected, however, we went on a wild goose chase looking for Q’s luggage for an hour. After frantically looking for his luggage, up and down 17 flights of floors for an hour, we managed to locate his luggage, Khalida had taken them in in to her room.

Day over…..tommorow, Aziziyah.

My Hajj Blog Part 1 (Post Blog and Medinah)

My Hajj Blogg 2018
-By Hajj Mohammed X

In the name of Allah (SWT) the most beneficent and most merciful.

This blog is my travel and journey through the holy land in order for me to fulfil one of the five pillars of Islam. The experiences are my experiences and should be read with subjectivity. This is in no way, shape form or manner a deterrent from you performing Hajj. In fact, I strongly recommend that you perform the Hajj as soon as you can. There is no such achievement a muslim can achieve then performing Hajj. Allah (SWT) elevates your status and Imaan, it is now your job to preserve and maintain what Allah has provided you with.

A quick mention to Shah Bhai (Zaytun Travels) who never got a mention in the blog. Your support did not get unoticed. May Allah (SWT) Reward you for your help and support.

I want to thank my mother. Who I owe my life to. Without my mum this Hajj would have never come in to fruition. Both myself and mother have hugely benefited from this journey of a lifetime!!

29 November 2018
Alhamdulillah it’s been three months since I have come back from Hajj. There is not one day that I don’t think about my Hajj experience. Each and every day was special and it provided me with something new.

The physical hajj was performed five days but the real hajj started when I landed back at Heathrow Airport. There have been many obstacles and challenges that I have faced since I have arrived. But with my sincere belief in Allah (SWT), I have been doing my level best to deal with these obstacles in the most appropriate way without engaging in fitna. It’s not always easy but when has life ever been easy.
The two things which I have taken back from my Hajj; Never have expectation and every day is a happy day. I will break this down for you so that it makes sense.

Never have expectation:
In life we all fall in to the trap of setting up expectation and when those expectations are shattered, we lose hope and as a result we become bitter. Whether it is at home, work, friends, social life or with family. Just remember the good that you do is written by Allah (SWT), and when you do that good, you do it for the sake Allah (SWT), never expect your efforts to be reciprocated back. If, they do return the efforts, consider it a bonus and a blessing from Allah (SWT).

With the greatest of respect’s, you will find this more with your family members. Since my father left my house, majority of my family members have made very little effort to visit my house or see if am dead or alive. I grew frustrated and I then chose to isolate myself from the family. When I visit my family now, I visit them to maintain family ties, but I have no expectation for them to fulfill the same. Their deeds are left with Allah (SWT) and so are mine.

Muslims are also told to worship God and be good to parents and the relatives – Surah An Nisah (4:36)

Be Happy:
Happiness is a cure to physical and mental illness. Being positive and avoiding negativity is crucial to our existence. If, you are not in control of a situation, you should never work yourself up to the extent where you start losing sleep over it. People are normally controlled by things in which they have no control over. They grow frustrated and the rest takes over. I have fallen victim of this throughout my life; Allah ordains everything in your life, all you can do is pray and be happy for whatever Allah provides you with. Equally, you have to ‘tie your camel’ and you have to work for everything, but essentially, whatever Allah (SWT) has in store for you, is nothing that you can’t handle. Pray and have Qadr with whatever Allah (SWT) provides you with.

El Hajj:
In terms of going forward. I have a title in which Allah has blessed me with, El Hajj. The title ‘El Hajj’ is not a just a glorified title. In every sense of that title, I have to live up to the responsibility for the rest of my life. I would encourage my family and friends to remind me of my title if I sway as a human being. Like any human, I am flawed, however; I do wish to ponder and reflect so that I can improve, day by day. Ultimately, we should always achieve something new each day.

Swearing:
One of my biggest weaknesses was swearing. Majority of us are guilty of swearing. Allah (SWT) does not like those who use profanities. I promised myself during my Jamarat trips that I would reduce the use of foul language and profanities. By the grace of Allah (SWT) my swearing has been reduced and I have reaped the benefits as my souls feels lighter

Reading:
As humans, we have no right to stay ignorant. If you have the time to read Facebook or Instagram meme’s then we have no reason for not keeping ourselves informed. Reading is the cure to ignorance and we should make a conscious effort of keeping ourselves informed. The first verses which were revealed to our beloved prophet Muhammad (Pbuh), was Iqra (read). We should all be encouraged, to read the Quran and Hadith and literature that will be of benefit to us. *From both Muslims and non-Muslims bretherin.

The purpose of this journey was not to strip the engine but to add to the areas which required me to grow. Striking the right balance between deen and dunya is key. I wish to do so going forwards in my journey. Forever how long it last.

Day 1 (7 August 2018):
Finally, boarded the plane.
The last 24 hours have provided me with some numb moments. Moments in which I have found it difficult to contain myself. Whilst there is meant to be an overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness; there is an emptiness which lingers with me and it has not been easy to shake off.

The root cause of my emptiness is factored by a couple of issues. Firstly, the fear of my Hajj not being accepted by Allah (SWT) always dawns on me; Secondly, having my Mother travelling with me is always concern for a few reasons (which I will mention in a separate paragraph); Thirdly, leaving my sister (Yaz) on her own during this time was not the most ideal situation. In all honesty, the last nine years, have provided many down’s rather than up’s.

Nevertheless, the Hajj journey is one of the most challenging but yet most rewarding that a Muslim will experience in his lifetime. What I do often remind myself, is that Allah has yet again bestowed his mercy upon me and my mother and invited us back to his sanctuary again. I also will be following in the footsteps of our greatest example to mankind, Muhammad (PBUH).

Malcolm X’s journey to the sacred land was one of the most insightful descriptions that I have read of the holy pilgrimage to Mecca. I often gain a high degree of inspiration from Malcolm’s life and his experiences. He will be in the back of my mind whilst am performing my Hajj.
Parents:

I wish not to dwell on this matter for too long, however, I have a degree of frustration that I try to contain because of people very close to me. I know these individual’s love me unconditionally, however, their decision-making, has driven me crazy at times and I have not managed to fully shake these frustrations off.

In terms of Hajj, my main concern is mums health. Am sure she will be fine; however, the concerns are always there. You often hear of these ‘near death’ hajj experiences.

My Hajj experience is not one in which I set myself the expectation to change overnight and neither would I prefer to do that. I believe change should be organic. Although, there is one characteristic, I wish Allah (SWT) will bestow upon me and that is emotional intelligence. I believe emotional intelligence is something I could really  strengthen. I really commend those who can master their emotions and abstain from unnecessary drama. Madame Nilly, is a lady that I really respect, in terms of someone mastering emotional intelligence.

In the absence of having no contact with my friends and family, this blog, will serve as my companion for the next three weeks. So, whoever takes the time to read this, you will be living my Hajj with me.

Landed at Medina airport @ 20:00 (Local time)
Typical middle-eastern weather, 30 degrees in the night, hot air, nothing can really prepare you for it, other than getting yourself out there. The weather is unforgiving only god knows what tomorrow will be like. After a 35-minute ride from the airport, we finally arrived. There it was in all its glory; Medina Al-Monowara, the mosque illuminated the sky with its bright lights and the famous green dome as it’s centre piece. I couldn’t help but creep a smile at this magnificent site.

Hotel is lovely but the WIFI is much to be desired for. Wifi in our room is restricted to the sitting area, which is a pain. I enjoy watching cartoons to help me sleep, I guess it’s a silent sleep tonight. Sob Sob.
We finally found our luggage at 1:30am. Bed time

Day 2 (8 August 2018)
Mum was meant to wake us up for Fajr at 4:30am, but yet we are praying Fajr at 6am. What a fantastic start to our spiritual journey of a life time. In all fairness we slept at 2:30am. After quickly praying Salah, strict instructions to mum, not to wake me up until breakfast is served, which is at 8 am in the Morning.

Surprise, Surprise. Mum has woken me up at least four to five times before 8am. Each time I was awoken; the worry and panic was felt in every breath taken. I forced myself up and we made our way down to the Breakfast place at 8:20am. Another surprise, we are the only ones, there.

Although very irritated by the lack of mother not listening to strict instructions, I managed to explain to her in a calm and collected voice that, sleep was essential to me; without sleep I would be able unable to operate, and without me being be physical/mentally able, she would be unable to do much. Hopefully, this explanation will be well received for the rest of our trip.

Just before Zuhr salah. I had a shower, sprayed and gelled my hair, put on my thobe, and embarked on my first day in the searing heat.

After praying salah. I made a start on my duas and I managed to cover mine and dads. This exercise had taken me up to Asr. Am not sure if there is a concern. How many sins do I have in respect to all my respected duas? Or is it just the case of me being a slow writer?

The Rawdah massacre (with-out the massacre):
After Magribh I decided to have a quick gander around the Al-Monowara masjid. I decided that I would visit the prophets grave and send my salutations. So far, this was not the wisest decision I made during this trip. Very quickly things turned nasty. To get to the prophet’s grave, you have to pass through the Rawdah (Strip of earth that will ascend to heaven on the day of judgement). They say praying on Rawdah is beneficial, however, it is not an obligation to pray on the Rawdah strip. Unfortunately, the masses, who are ill informed about the importance of the Rawdah, will do anything humanly possible to pray there. Quite often acts of violence, will erupt with; pushing, shoving, punches and kicks.

The issue with waiting in the Rawdah que, is that there are vast number of the Hujjaj who understand the importance of being cordial. The behavior of people in the Radwah strip is likened to that of Wilder Beast running in the Savanah. Am sure Attenborough’s voice-over would have been perfect at the particular stage.
*PLEASE do not feel deterred from visiting the Rawdah and praying 2 Nafl. Just be appropriate with your timings.
Not to get side-tracked. I was protecting a brother who was suffocated in the midst of the pandemonium which had broken out. Unfortunately, I couldn’t speak the same language as him, but It was written all over his face, that he was struggling whilst also being traumatized by the sheer idiocy of the violence surrounding him. My hand was crushed for a couple of seconds, with my body being dragged 5 meters without my will; one leg being stretched towards Makkah and the other to Riyadh. I sighed out of relief when I managed to get through the Rawdah.

Salam to the greatest!!!
I managed to give my Salam to the prophet (Pbuh) and his companions Umar and Abu Bakr (R.A). A very subdued moment where all emotions had run through me. The process lasted a couple of seconds and I quickly moved on. I didn’t want to humiliate myself by being physically assisted by the mosque security. Unfortunately, there are other pilgrims who tend to cry profusely at the foot-step of his tomb, whilst quickly having their senses being whacked in to them by the security staff.

Five years ago, I felt as though the security were a bit harsh in the way they dealt with pilgrims. In all honesty, they deal with this nonsensical behaviour on a day-to-day basis.

Dinner was ok. A buffet system. I ate a little and retreated upstairs to my room.
Mother has gone to the Rawdah. I am unable to go as am physically shattered plus am not allowed in the women’s section. I have given her strict instructions about ways in which she can ‘try’ to keep herself safe. I doubt she will listen, nevertheless, we live in hope.
Goodnight.

Day 3 (9 August 2018)
Tahajjud prayers at 4:24 am and the Mosque is still heaving, although, the weather was the calmest since I arrived in Saudia. I ended up staying in the haram until 6am in the Moving. Long sleeps are reminding me of a distant memory. We are due to meet at 8am sharp, as we are due to go for ziarat.

Breakfast was not great. Ziarat was bland, we literally saw the sites for 15 minutes, and made our way back to the coach. Our group leader, Abdul Zaman gave zero information about the ziarat sights. I was personally well read on the Ziarat sites, but there were some who really did not know much. I was quite shocked how laid back our group leader was about this. That lasted for two hours so I suppose it was good procrastination.

My own Ziarat in Medina and mission Ajwa (date) buying:
We arrived back for Zuhr. Considering that we were meant to leave for Makkah after Jummah (tommorow), I decided that it was very important that I had to buy dates and see a couple of local ziarat sights (Ali & Abu-Bakr R.A houses) and the place where Abu Bakr had taken baaya to become first caliph of the Islamic empire.

*The place of Abu Bakr’s (R.A) baaya is literally opposite nabawi masjid. The Saudi government have made the place a garden of peace; with loads of trees surrounding the garden, green grass, nicely trimmed bushes and a fountain fixated in the middle. Considering we are surrounded by desert, I found one of the Most peaceful and yet Most cool places in Medina.

I also had the chance to visit the area in which we resided in our previous visit to Medina in 2013. I realized how the surrounding areas of our previous hotel was relatively run-down compared to where we are currently residing. I noted there is a high degree of tranquility and peace which is immersed in this area. Am just hoping it’s not just nostalgia from our first stay.

I managed to also find the date bazaar. This bazaar is not usually found by tourist so I feel like this is a huge accomplishment on my behalf. Everyone else seems to be buying it in tourist hot-spots set at extortionate prices. I did try to suggest venturing slightly outside but I don’t think people have taken my suggestion seriously. I think because I look in a certain way, people tend to disregard me? Am not really bothered it’s just a running thought…

On the plus side, my Bengali connections, in any country that I visit, tends to always have its benefits. It was through my spoken Bengali which enabled me to find the date bazaar. My moto in life, if you have an asset, use it to the best of your ability, and you may reap the rewards.

Today has been a lonely day for me, knowing that we are not going Makkah until Saturday due to issues with ministry of Hajj, has set me back a little. As much as I love Medina, there really is nothing to do here, plus I have not really vibed with any of the group members yet.

A lot of the lads are from the same local area; a group of lads came with their mates and the others are accompanied by their fathers, so they have made their own group. *Please note, all the above individuals have all been extremely pleasant and polite. Having Baj here would have been great and she would have compensated for Most other companies. The miserable cow!!!

Plans for tomorrow:
Ever the optimist I decided to suggest an idea to mum. She was all on-board for the idea. We decided to visit the, hop on and hop off bus tour. Can you believe that!!! Medina has the world-famous bus tour company, but honestly, which tourist are they appealing to? There are only Muslim’s in this region. LMAO!!!
Am also tour guiding a Bengali family in our group. I will take them through my local Medina ziarat sites. They look enthusiastic and excited I also want to reciprocate the same energy. At least they will have a great memory of Medina.

Thought of the day:
Multiculturalism – We are unfortunately based 13 floors up, which means we are always the last to reach our rooms. From the ground floor to the 13th, we are surrounded in a confined space, with brothers and sisters from different parts of the world. From the white to black, brown to yellow, straight hair to afro. We are here united under one banner Color, culture, caste and creed take a back seat. Subhanallah, how lucky are we.

Day 4 (10 August 2018)
5:30am and I have been unable to pray Fajr in the mosque so we prayed in our rooms. Mum has managed to blame me, obviously, she is not accountable. Typical mum’s eh. On a side note, my mum’s panicky behaviour does really work me up. I have been doing well to control myself so far.

There is a slight tenseness at breakfast. I think we both have annoyed each other a bit we are both making a conscious effort not to let our tongues lash out. Small talk is currently working lol. I had taken it upon myself to be positive in this matter by suggesting that we must enquire a bit More about the city tour. Plus, it would be a Moment that both Mother and son would always cherish.

My gripe with my Mother on this matter, was that she never did enough to keep us stimulated. Both me and Yaz missed out on our youth, when it came to holidays and participating in fun activities, that young people normally do. Now that me and Yaz frequently go out, my mother is extremely keen to participate in all our outings.
We enquired about the city tour bus and both decided that we should read jumah and then venture out straight after Asr.

The gap in between the morning and jumah was spent visiting the outskirts of Jannatul Baki (apostles heavenly grave). There was a Bengali cleaner, who was extremely kind, he decided to show us where Uthman Ibn Affan (R.a) was buried and where Fatima (R.A) graves were. In that time, we saw a high volume of shia’s whaling at the grave and also enquiring about whether they could collect some mud from Fatima’s (r.a) grave. A bit of a stupid question which only required a similar response, considering we are in Salaf central.

As we were leaving, there was a growing number of Shia’s entering the Baki area. The police and army presence was increasing. With three or four indestructible riot transports being stationed just in case of any chaos.

Jummah to Asr, not much to report. Other than the fact that the Bengali family were joining us on the city tour to Madinah.

After Asr, we made our way to the Medina bus tour station (which is opposite the main gates of the Mosque). To our surprise the Bengali family had joined us. The tour was something different, both for the city and for me and my Mother. All the historical sights, are place we have already seen, but it was always nice to revisit.

From the last time I visited. I appreciated the sights more as I have done extensive research about the deen.

Arrange Marriage in Medina??
On our trip, there was a bunch of girls who used the tour bus. They were openly making eye contact through our first interaction. Obviously being in such a holy site, I subtly avoided eye contact, but she made herself known to me, by positioning herself in eye view of me. It was hard not to see her but I did abstain from looking. Long story short, she managed to sit with mum and decided to introduce herself. Before I knew it, she had taken selfies with mum and exchanged contact details and Snapchat. Snap!! My mum and Snap. Turns out she does actually have access to latest technology.

The Bengali family were making a joke of the situation. They were offering to buy dates for me so that we could progress with the nikkah, I laughed sheepishly and went along with the joke. Questions then circled about marriage, which am not going to bore you with.

After Magribh, we set out to the date market and I showed them a few ziarat sights close to the prophet’s Mosque. Qadeer the Bengali brother, a married man, with two kids who accompanied his Mother and wife. He had taken the opportunity to find the perfect time to provide me with marriage advice. Number one rule; your wife will never live with your Mother, so start planning a life without mum.

Qadeer is a good, sincere and light-hearted brother. However, his life story was very sad and his current situation is a constant battle between balancing two lives. I felt for him and his predicaments. I will make dua for Qadeer, another name in the dua book.

Tomorrow Makkah!!!